What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Why are men so attracted to big breasts?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

True - how I loved my mum!

How can I get a girlfriend? I am 26.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What are the most extreme examples of hypocrisy?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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What do you mean son?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What! how could you do that?

Why does my crush make me jealous about having a girlfriend?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?